Recipes for Living Dale and Merle O'Neall & Pennie Gonseth

Mutual affection between mother and daughter, Merle and Pennie, is evident in the story of this closely knit family, and shows how their philosophy of life, their work ethic, and their sense of humor, have been their "Recipe" for facing and overcoming some of life's most serious issues.

Merle begins: Both Dale and I grew up on farms near Hopeville, Iowa. I saw him while I was still in high school, and was really impressed. It became apparent to my parents except that my dad thought I was smitten with one of his brothers. I just let him think that. Dale was 16 when he graduated from Murray High School in the early years of WW II, which affected much of our thinking. Life seemed very uncertain and when I finished the 11th grade, I decided I should marry him before he left for the service. We were married at 11:00 on the morning of August 27, 1943, by Rev. 0. J. Fix. We were married in the parsonage of what was then the Methodist Protestant Church. The house is still there near the railroad tracks in Osceola. Dale's sister and her husband, Fritz and Mary Booth, stood up with us, and after Dale paid the minister whatever that might have been, we had $10 on which to begin our life together.

Dale went into the service on February 29, 1944. His report for the 2006 Murray and Hopeville veterans' book tells: At age 19, twins Dale and Dean were inducted into the Navy at Camp Dodge, Des Moines, Iowa. They were shipped out immediately to Camp Waldron Naval Training station at Farragut, Idaho. They completed that training on April 10, 1944, and were given a 15 day leave to come home by railway.

On April 30, 1944, they returned to Farragut and were placed in OGU (outgoing unit). Dean was sent to Seattle, Washington and assigned to the mine sweeper USS Staunch. Dale was selected for training as an aviation radioman, and sent to NATTC, Memphis, Tennessee in August 1944. He was placed in the naval hospital in Memphis for hernia surgery, and on recovery, he was deemed unfit for aviation. He was transferred to a Navy Repair Base in New Orleans, Louisiana, and was there a short time waiting for new orders.

Dale told, "The orders came through that we were to report to the Naval Advanced Base Personnel Depot at the old Tanforan Race Track, San Bruno, California. From there we were sent to the Floating Dry Dock Training Center at Tiburon, California. In late 1944, or early 1945, we were sent to Treasure Island Naval Base for overseas shipment. We boarded a Dutch ship HMS Weltervreden, next stop Pearl Harbor, where we anchored very close to the USS Arizona, which took a direct hit during the attack on Pearl Harbor December 7, 1941. We stayed in Pearl Harbor 10 days with all personnel confined to the ship. Next stop was Eniwetok atoll where we stayed several days waiting for a convoy to form. Our next stop was the Leyte Gulf. We offloaded our gear and men on barges. We had been aboard for days."

For protection of all concerned, mail was strictly censored, but Dale had found a way for Merle to know his location. In one letter he told her to pay attention to the first letter of each paragraph in the one to follow, and the next letter's paragraphs began with SAMAR. This was the island to which they were sent and spent two nights and two days. Dale continued the report for the book, "We were taken to the small island of Calicoan, just off the tip of Samar, where our Navy supply depot was being built. During the time the barracks were being built, we lived in tents."

Pennie was born May 31, 1944, while Dale was still in the service. He begged to come home, but at that time leaves were granted only in case of a death, so he didn't see her until she was two years old. Continuing his story: "In early 1946, I had accumulated enough points for discharge. I came back to Portland, Oregon on a Navy attack transport, to Swan Island Naval Base, then by train to Minneapolis, Minnesota, for discharge January 27, 1946." About his war experiences, Dale said, "When you stop to think about it, here I was, a young Iowa farm boy who had never been out of the state, and ended up 10,000 miles from home."

Merle tells: After Dale left, I went home to live with my parents, who were farmers, but we all were totally immersed in the war. Of course, I and many others - parents, wives, sweethearts - could hardly wait for the mail each day. I was fortunate because Dale wrote regularly. He was serving in a supply depot, behind the fighting. They were blasting the coral to build a causeway between Calicoan and Samar islands. They could hear the guns, but were not on the front lines. Back home, we had to adjust our lives. I've tried to tell young people what it was like to make purchases according to the coupons we had for sugar, gas, shoes, and other items. We couldn't do what we wanted to when we wanted to do it. It was a whole different way of thinking and living.

When Dale came home, we adjusted to married life. As Pennie, I was an only child and Dale came from a family of 12, so there were some differences to overcome. We rented a place from his dad and farmed until we moved to town in 1965. Our lives were full of work to be done, and the joy of raising our daughter. We have always been a really close knit family, although it might not have seemed so. I was really cranky when Pennie was growing up. I demanded perfection. I used to give her a blistering with a butter paddle and my mother was sure there were others ways of disciplining. When the grandchildren looked in the drawer one day, they saw the butter paddle, and asked what it was. I told them, "A butter paddle." They asked what I used it for, and I said "I used it on your mother, do you want me to show you?" They said, ''No."

I've never been afraid of work. If I wanted something I didn't mind getting out and making money to have it. One time I really wanted Venetian blinds. I couldn't think how we could afford them, so I decided to hang wallpaper. I papered five rooms with paper at $1 a roll to get my blinds, and I hung them myself. There was a time when a fellow asked me if I was afraid to climb. I said, ''No." He said, "I've got to put up some television antennas and I sure need help on the roof. I said, "Fine, I'll be right up there with you." That may have been in the 60s.

One day I was asked if I would paper the church at Hopeville. We're talking about an old country church that went way up in the air. I said, "Well, we could use the money." One of the members said, "I'll build you a really good scaffold." Using that scaffold was when I learned to curl my toes. I would take a strip of paper, try to climb on the narrow board of the scaffold and hang it. I really had to be careful because I could easily have resorted to profanity right there in the house of God. I finally had a friend come to help me, but we laughed a lot in later years about how she steadied the board while I was trying to put paper on the walls.

I had my own priorities and that was true in regard to Pennie. When she was about four years old and started trying to play the piano, it became evident that she was musical, Her grandmother began giving her piano lessons when she was eight. Dale's sister asked one time if Pennie helped with the dishes and I said, ''No." She was quite surprised and obviously disapproved. I said, "Do you do your dishes to music?" She said, ''No." I said, "I do." While I did the dishes, Pennie played the piano and that suited both of us. Pennie agreed, "I still do that if I get the chance."

Dale and I have always been proud of Pennie and were part of her cheering section. We were in the audience for all her activities including high school graduation when she was salutatorian. I did have to take a time out in 1987. I was 60 years old when I became ill with a very rare type of cancer in my bile duct. Usually, when the liver is involved, it is considered fatal. At that time only 2% of the victims of this kind of cancer survived. I had to go to the Mayo Clinic for them to find it. They removed one lobe of my liver, but the good news was, it is the only organ that will regenerate. They told me, "You will grow a new one. It won't be very pretty, but it will happen." I told them, "I don't care about that, just so it works." I went the round of chemo and radiation.

I was in the Creston hospital for 63 days, and very sick for over a year. Chemo and radiation caused damage which took a long time to repair. In the surgery I was cut pretty badly and spliced back together, so that also had to heal. My story could have been quite different if it hadn't been for our family. Pennie was such a help and by that time Dale had retired, so when I went home, he spent all his time taking care of me, from minor needs to the feeding pump. I got down to 97 pounds. We had this little joke with Pennie saying, "You've just got to get well." I'd say, ''Yes, I do because I don't have my basement cleaned."

Even though we said it in jest, I've always wanted to keep my house clean. The doctors told me there were lots of things I couldn't do, but one day I said to Dale, "We've got to run the vacuum." His answer was, "You can't." I said, "Yes, we can. I'll sit on the floor with the hose and you push the machine." And we did. He knew me so well that when he left the house he would say, ''Now, don't do anything while I am gone." But the minute he left, I'd get the dust brush and go around the rooms. I didn't tell him for a good number of years. When I finally told him, he just said, "I'm not surprised.

It took a long time before I was back to anywhere near normal. I didn't drive for a year, but when I went back to Rochester for a check up, one doctor would examine me and say, "Do you know how lucky you are? Most people don't make it." I'd see the next doctor and he'd say, ''Do you realize how lucky you are?" Yes, I was most fortunate.

There came a day, probably a year or more after I had surgery, the phone rang and the lady at the Murray restaurant called to ask how I was. She said, "Could you possibly come help me? If you could come and only run the cash register - do nothing else, it would help me so much." I said, "Give me time to brush my teeth and change my clothes and I'll be there." I had worked at the restaurant before I got sick. I'd go in on Sundays, and I worked for a long time with no pay. I just did it to help, and now getting back into that routine sounded good! It is Pennie's opinion that contributed to her mother's recovery. She had a reason to get up and go. Even if she didn't feel well, she was needed. It helped her to get back on her feet.

Pennie went on to tell that in the midst of all this - in 1990, Pennie became a part of a five piece band called "Cross Country."We had a singer, Cindy Selim, who was wonderful. In the process of all this she received a liver transplant, not far from the time Mother was having liver problems. She was diagnosed with cancer two or three months before Gary was, and she died five weeks before Gary did. The band was together for 10 years beginning when Mother was really sick, but my mom and dad went with me every Saturday night. Mother loved music and that was something for her to look forward to. No matter how far I went, they went with me, and Merle said, 'I kept her from going to sleep, if we'd be a little late, because I never quit talking."'

Merle continued, "I've worked ever since I began to recover. I believe if you snooze, you lose, that we all need something to get up for. I don't care how slowly we drag along, we need to be busy. I worked at the restaurant a number of years. I've worked during the transition of owners. I worked with some of the young people from the time they began, and they are now going to college. I've watched them grow up. I am acquainted with other high school kids as they come in. I enjoy them and believe in them. The fact is, I still work at the restaurant. On Sundays I run the cash register, and Monday I go in and help so the lady who owns it can have some time off.

"When Dale and I moved to town, we didn't retire. We both worked for Union Gas. I worked for them for 20 years, Dale quit after 11 years and became a supervisor in the Auto Assemblies factory in Murray. The name changed to Dekko some years later. Even now we are not retired. We have three acres with more livestock than Pennie does on her 550. We have a donkey, a pony, a neighbor's horse, 13 goats, and 20 cats. Every day we have something to get up for. We have two wells and strong backs so we pump and carry water for my 13 flower beds. That means that when I get through with my work in the house, I work outdoors. In addition to the days at the restaurant, Thursdays I clean the bank and Pennie's house, every other Friday I come to Osceola and clean the house of a friend, who had the bakery here for a few years. We have seen friends about our age whom retired, sat down, and didn't last very long. We're not going to do that!"

It must surely be obvious to anyone who has read Mother's story that I have had a wonderful life with continual support from my parents who live just three miles from me. With their encouragement, every time I wanted to try something, I was able to do it. It means so much to little folks to have this kind of security. All through school, whatever I did, they were in the audience.

I graduated from Murray High School in 1962. I loved school and band. I began playing in a dance band when I was 16.

Gary Gonseth and I were married in August 1962. We lived in town for four years, then moved to his grandmother's farm. We were married 38 years before Gary's death in August of 2000. I still live on that same farm. Gary was a full fledged farmer. He was a cattle buyer and owned a truck line for 10 years. We had two children - a daughter Jodie, and a son John. Now each of them has families. Jodie married Joe Greig, and they have two children - Taylor and Clayton Gary. It is significant to us that Clayton has his grandfather's name because the day Jodie found out she was going to have him was the day Gary Gonseth found out he had cancer. John's wife, Susan, and he have a daughter Madison, and Susan's sons Cole and Cass Page. Cole and his wife Tara with their son, Cadin, live in Osceola. Cass is in college at the University of Iowa. John and Susan live within a quarter of a mile of me and Jodi lives in Estherville, Iowa.

Gary was diagnosed with cancer in March of 2000, and died August 1, 2001. It changed all of our lives tremendously. It caused a totally different way of looking at everything. I first thought I would move to town and not have all the memories associated with the house and farm, but I love where I am, so I've continued to live there. I had to decide how to make a living, which prompted me to think of running for the office of County Recorder, which I have been now for four years.

There again my family was right there with me. Mother and I campaigned throughout the county. We didn't miss a house. She always brought snacks and I have said that while every other candidate for office loses weight in the process, I gained.

My life seems to have fallen into little squares. Within a 10-15 year period, the kids were growing up, involved in 4H and showing horses. I worked in the post office for 10 years; I was a certified Aggregate Technician, which meant I tested rock products (a nice title for a dirty job, but it paid well). I had a wonderful relationship with Kales as I worked in the funeral home, and continue to play for their services. The years I played for Rindy (Emil Rinderspacher) are particularly memorable. He was soloist for many funerals and weddings, and we worked up a presentation of music from the 40s. That was such fun! It was an interesting 10 or 15 years, when I learned many things. There were major changes with lots of good things, but lots of bad things. We are like all families. We've had good times and bad times, but without Mom and Dad I wouldn't have made it.

My work has been an education. The recorders office is responsible for all land and property transactions that are recorded. This is what it was originally designed for but over the years they have added passports, vital records of births, deaths, and marriages. We also sell hunting and fishing licenses, and we are now also online. We have a national website so it is done incredibly differently than it has been in the past. It is a very interesting office, where everything in a transaction begins. It has to be recorded first, go to the other offices to be transferred, eventually to the treasurer's office for taxation. I think of it as the core of County Government. I have a full-time deputy, Marie White, and a part-time clerk, Karen Bowen and it takes all three of us. We are incredibly busy.

Mother and Dad and I live three miles apart. My Dad has always been there for me. He was while Gary was alive, but particularly now when I really need the extra help. He mows my lawn on Thursdays; Mother cleans my house, we kind of exchange help with each other. I still have 550 acres. I don't have much crop land. I sold some land when Gary first passed away because I needed to get all my affairs in order. My son is still there. He works away from home but he also has a cow herd. He likes the land and this is something he wanted to do. He keeps the fences and farm buildings repaired so we still have a cattle farming operation.

My parents are fantastically healthy, although each had a bout with cancer. Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1995. Faith, medical technology, and family helped both of them to survive. Dad is still very physical. He is the Commander of the Murray American Legion Post. He walks to town every morning to get his newspaper and still rakes hay for friends. We have some young neighbors who have always known Mom and Dad and they call and ask him to do that. When we went to the VA (Veterans' Administration) Hospital for his physical, they said, ''You don't even need to be here. There is nothing wrong with you." His blood pressure was good, his cholesterol was good. His only problem is with his hearing.

Mother has put on some weight. She says, "My normal weight is 112. When I was sick, the treatment burned me so badly that they took the lower half of my stomach and all my duodenal so my schematics are quite different from the normal person. I have a lot of trouble eating. I have to be really careful but I count my blessings. I can't eat, so I piece a lot. I have a cracker, cookie or cheese; something like that."

They have just celebrated their 63rd wedding anniversary. When we asked Mother how she wanted to celebrate it, her answer was, "I see no reason why we would do other than we do every Sunday. I work on Sundays as cashier at the Murray restaurant, and that particular Sunday is one on which I need to be there. We also never miss a Sunday night of going to Wal-Mart and I certainly don't want our happy occasion to break that rule. We pick up Dale's sister, who is 89, and a lady who stood up with us, who likes to go to Dollar General. We take them to shop and eat out; then we take them back to Afton, and eat again. What better celebration could we have than that?"